Today was my cycle day 6 bloodwork and ultrasound. Freaking out a bit right now because my follicles are not growing as much as they should. The doc only found one follicle on the right ovary that was 11mm and the rest are still below 10 mm (although, they did look kinda big on the ultrasound to me... who knows? I guess the doctor knows since he did go to school to know stuff like that... hopefully). He did say though that it looks like they're finally starting to grow, but that doesn't ease my mind. Then more bad news: the blood test reveals that my estradiol levels are still somewhat low - around 87. They'd like to see it higher as well. So they're increasing my meds again to 300 units of Follistim, 5 units of Lupron and 30 units of low-dose HCG. I guess I don't have the risk of being hyperstimulated... I have quite the opposite problem.
Honestly, I am getting worried about why my body isn't physically responding to the medication as well as it should. So as I usually do, I went online and read a bunch of online posts to find out more. I read about how some women just do not respond well to the meds, and as a result, their IVF cycles get canceled. Canceled! After all these fertility drugs! I feel so bad for them. And then I feel fearful for myself that this will happen to me as well. As you can imagine, lots of anticipation have been built up towards retrieving and fertilizing those eggs this week. It will absolutely be a giant letdown if we got this far only to not be given the opportunity to even try our luck at this.
Somebody get me off this emotional rollercoaster! Not only do these fertility drugs make me sick to my stomach and I am constantly bloating/burping/gassy all the time, my mood is completely out of whack, I'm emotional and cranky at the same time; I snap at DH, at my rude students (well, they kinda deserved that one). One minute I'm a ticking time bomb, the next minute a love song comes on the radio and I get choked up. All of this and I don't even get to try... please say it isn't so!
This is making me weepy and angry again, so I'm taking a nap. More tests on Tuesday.
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