Went in for my second beta test today to make sure that my HCG beta numbers are doubling up. And they were! Today's beta = 791.
Our first ultrasound is in a week. I just hope so much that this week goes by without a hitch.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
First beta
Our first beta comes in at 388! The speculation right now is that both our embryos took... and so we may be expecting twins. Deep breaths.
HOLY MOLY. This is really happening.
HOLY MOLY. This is really happening.
Drumroll please
Three words I didn't think I'd say today: I am pregnant.
Holy cow, that feels strange saying that.
OK two versions of the story, the quick and dirty facts versus the gory details (it's actually not that gory; kinda funny really). Scroll all the way down for the short version.
Long version
So yesterday morning, I woke up having no more cramps but started spotting after I got out of the shower. I thought, "Crap," since it'd be too late for implantation bleeding, which could only mean one thing... my period was coming and the cycle wasn't going to work. After crying my eyes out, first to DH, then to myself on my way to work, I sought out my friends on the online fertility community for strength and support. These women quickly told me that spotting was extremely normal during IVF (which of course, I did not know!) They also encouraged (OK, more like gently coerced) me to POAS yesterday. From my previous post, you know how I feel about POAS, but after debating back and forth about it (mostly with myself), I decided to do it after I got home.
After sitting around for 4 hours uncomfortably without a bathroom break, around 9 pm, I decided to take the plunge. DH was on the phone with his dad, and that made it easier really because a) I honestly didn't want to tell him if it was a negative (since we kinda already knew that morning) and b) I love a good surprise. So I snuck in the bathroom with my pregnancy test and IPhone, went to town with the test and started the timer.
The test said to wait three minutes before looking at the results, but IMMEDIATELY, the second line came up on the test.
So here's my initial reaction, "Whoa, wait. Oh my god!" Then my face got super flushed and I swear, my nose started to bleed. Like, profusely bleed. So there I was trying to stick my head up to keep the blood from going everywhere and at the same time, trying to look at the pregnancy test to convince myself that I wasn't seeing double. When I finally did manage to stop the nosebleed, I took the stick, moved it under the light, waved it around the bathroom like some lunatic, then closed my eyes and opened it again, silently praying that the second line won't disappear when I open my eyes again.
Nope, still there. In fact the second line was darker than the control line.
Wow.
OK here's the short version
I POAS and the test was positive!
DH's reaction was priceless (I'll post that next). Beta results in a few hours. Hopefully, we're off to a good start.
Holy cow, that feels strange saying that.
OK two versions of the story, the quick and dirty facts versus the gory details (it's actually not that gory; kinda funny really). Scroll all the way down for the short version.
Long version
So yesterday morning, I woke up having no more cramps but started spotting after I got out of the shower. I thought, "Crap," since it'd be too late for implantation bleeding, which could only mean one thing... my period was coming and the cycle wasn't going to work. After crying my eyes out, first to DH, then to myself on my way to work, I sought out my friends on the online fertility community for strength and support. These women quickly told me that spotting was extremely normal during IVF (which of course, I did not know!) They also encouraged (OK, more like gently coerced) me to POAS yesterday. From my previous post, you know how I feel about POAS, but after debating back and forth about it (mostly with myself), I decided to do it after I got home.
After sitting around for 4 hours uncomfortably without a bathroom break, around 9 pm, I decided to take the plunge. DH was on the phone with his dad, and that made it easier really because a) I honestly didn't want to tell him if it was a negative (since we kinda already knew that morning) and b) I love a good surprise. So I snuck in the bathroom with my pregnancy test and IPhone, went to town with the test and started the timer.
The test said to wait three minutes before looking at the results, but IMMEDIATELY, the second line came up on the test.
.JPG) |
| My first time ever looking at two lines, instead of one! |
Nope, still there. In fact the second line was darker than the control line.
Wow.
OK here's the short version
I POAS and the test was positive!
DH's reaction was priceless (I'll post that next). Beta results in a few hours. Hopefully, we're off to a good start.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Going through the nine-day wait
Well I thought I'd write a quick update about how this week has been going. It has been slooowwww. Thankfully for my job, which keeps me fairly busy most of the time, I've been somewhat preoccupied, trying to "not think about it," which is the advice I've gotten from the online communities. Definitely easier said than done. I am really trying to refrain myself from analyzing each and every symptom I think I am experiencing (or I think I should be experiencing), but just like at the bank or at the DMV, you get impatient when you have to wait.
Following the advice of the nurse, I literally was bed-ridden for the rest of Monday after we got home from the transfer. Which was fine for me since I was pretty exhausted after the procedure. Tuesday, I was mostly couch-bound and relaxing, but whenever I was forced to walk, I willed myself to tread the ground as lightly as possible. I was unfortunately back to work in full force on Wednesday and beyond... and now we're here at the end of the week. But overall, I have been taking it easy though this week: no major cleaning sprees, no laundry, and no gym.
Someone on a fertility community asked me if I was going to POAS (i.e., pee on a stick) before my blood test next Wednesday. I told her I didn't know, and really, I don't, because of the various scenarios and subscenarios that are playing out in my head. Here's a short synopsis of what's currently happening; by the way, this barely scratches the surface of what's going through my mind:
Scenario A: We get a positive
Subscenario (Sub) A1: Woohoo!
Sub A2: Wait a sec, would that be a true positive though?
Sub A3: Can we be happy about the positive or could it simply indicate a chemical pregnancy?
(And then we'll worry and worry all weekend until the beta test.)
Scenario B: We get a negative
Sub B1: Would that be a true negative? Maybe we tested too early.
Sub B2: Maybe we test again the next day. Maybe it's a negative again. Maybe we tested too early.
Sub B3: Test again the following day. Should I bust open the booze or maybe we tested too early again?
(And then we'll worry and worry all weekend until the beta test.)
So, in light of the fact that we'll incessantly worry all weekend (or at least, I will), regardless of what the pee stick says, I thought to myself, why test at all? I might as well just enjoy the weekend with DH and whatever happens next week during the beta test, happens. We have no choice but to accept the news, good or bad it may be.
Following the advice of the nurse, I literally was bed-ridden for the rest of Monday after we got home from the transfer. Which was fine for me since I was pretty exhausted after the procedure. Tuesday, I was mostly couch-bound and relaxing, but whenever I was forced to walk, I willed myself to tread the ground as lightly as possible. I was unfortunately back to work in full force on Wednesday and beyond... and now we're here at the end of the week. But overall, I have been taking it easy though this week: no major cleaning sprees, no laundry, and no gym.
Someone on a fertility community asked me if I was going to POAS (i.e., pee on a stick) before my blood test next Wednesday. I told her I didn't know, and really, I don't, because of the various scenarios and subscenarios that are playing out in my head. Here's a short synopsis of what's currently happening; by the way, this barely scratches the surface of what's going through my mind:
Scenario A: We get a positive
Subscenario (Sub) A1: Woohoo!
Sub A2: Wait a sec, would that be a true positive though?
Sub A3: Can we be happy about the positive or could it simply indicate a chemical pregnancy?
(And then we'll worry and worry all weekend until the beta test.)
Scenario B: We get a negative
Sub B1: Would that be a true negative? Maybe we tested too early.
Sub B2: Maybe we test again the next day. Maybe it's a negative again. Maybe we tested too early.
Sub B3: Test again the following day. Should I bust open the booze or maybe we tested too early again?
(And then we'll worry and worry all weekend until the beta test.)
So, in light of the fact that we'll incessantly worry all weekend (or at least, I will), regardless of what the pee stick says, I thought to myself, why test at all? I might as well just enjoy the weekend with DH and whatever happens next week during the beta test, happens. We have no choice but to accept the news, good or bad it may be.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Two blastocysts transfered!
Today finally arrived! In spite of all my anxieties, everything worked out well. I had a great night's sleep, got to work in a good mood, and received the call from the clinic at 11:16 am (RIGHT after my class ended). The nurse told us that our transfer is scheduled for that afternoon and we should be in the clinic by 1 pm. Aside from some customer service snafus (we got there at 12:30 pm and didn't get called in until 2 pm), we were prepped and ready to go by 3 pm.
By the way, I opted to do laser acupuncture before and after the transfer. It was my first time with acupuncture but I didn't really feel anything - just felt a little sleepy after the acupuncturist left.
So the actual transfer itself took an entire 10 minutes. It was a success. Before the procedure started, the doctor actually gave us a picture of our blastocysts. The one on the top left is actually a hatching blastocyst, which is a good thing, because it is developing at a more advanced level. I can't stop staring at this picture, thinking how awesome it is to actually see a product of the IVF process.
I am instructed to be on bedrest today and as much as possible tomorrow. So I am lying in bed now in my pajamas typing this with Investigation Discovery on TV... I have similarly big plans for tomorrow. It is admittedly a little difficult trying to type one-handed while I am lying flat on the bed; I don't want to put my laptop on my belly area. Silly as it sounds, I don't want to squish 'em. So I will report more when I am not so... horizontal.
.JPG) |
| Ready to do this! |
So the actual transfer itself took an entire 10 minutes. It was a success. Before the procedure started, the doctor actually gave us a picture of our blastocysts. The one on the top left is actually a hatching blastocyst, which is a good thing, because it is developing at a more advanced level. I can't stop staring at this picture, thinking how awesome it is to actually see a product of the IVF process.
 |
| Brian calls them "Thing 1" and "Thing 2" |
Sunday, March 18, 2012
The stage is set...
This morning's ultrasound result: a "12 Type 3" uterine lining. Which means I have a 12 mm endometrial lining and Type 3 indicates the presence of "triple stripe": both factors ideal for implantation. From what I've read online, I kinda knew it was good news. This morning's RE agreed with me. His exact words were, "That looks good. Actually, no. That looks excellent. It is ready for pregnancy." Boy am I glad my uterus decided to jump on board with the plan because we sure are ready for it too!
Special thanks to DH for hard work of injecting those mammoth progesterone-in-oil shots every night. I know he gets slightly traumatized every time he has to do it, but he has been a real "DH" (darling husband, in the fertility community lingo) indeed.
So it looks like everything is where it should be at this point. The estrogen pills and progesterone shots have helped make a plushy environment for the incoming embryos. Hopefully they will make themselves at home for the next nine months. And why wouldn't they, right? I'm a pretty nice landlady, I don't charge rent, I don't pry (well, not all the time), and there won't be any noise complaints from the neighbors. Plus, they get free food, occasionally, awesome free food like cookies and Thai food. Clothing is optional in there AND they get a free playground to practice their kicks and gymnastic prowess.
Hmm, maybe I should also hang a sign in there that says, "Free college if you stay" in there, just for good measure?
One worry down, about a thousand more to go. Tonight, I am instructed to take metrogel (a suppository to prevent possible infections) and tomorrow, a high dose progesterone suppository right before the transfer. Then tomorrow anytime between 7 am - 12 pm, the clinic calls to confirm two things: a) if our embryos survive the thaw, and b) the time of our transfer. From what I've heard, our clinic has an excellent thaw rate. I will be in back-to-back classes until 11:15 am, but my nurse has assured me that it will be fine and I should try to relax on my way there. Easier said than done.
Hope to report good news tomorrow... and after that, the waiting game begins.
Special thanks to DH for hard work of injecting those mammoth progesterone-in-oil shots every night. I know he gets slightly traumatized every time he has to do it, but he has been a real "DH" (darling husband, in the fertility community lingo) indeed.
So it looks like everything is where it should be at this point. The estrogen pills and progesterone shots have helped make a plushy environment for the incoming embryos. Hopefully they will make themselves at home for the next nine months. And why wouldn't they, right? I'm a pretty nice landlady, I don't charge rent, I don't pry (well, not all the time), and there won't be any noise complaints from the neighbors. Plus, they get free food, occasionally, awesome free food like cookies and Thai food. Clothing is optional in there AND they get a free playground to practice their kicks and gymnastic prowess.
Hmm, maybe I should also hang a sign in there that says, "Free college if you stay" in there, just for good measure?
One worry down, about a thousand more to go. Tonight, I am instructed to take metrogel (a suppository to prevent possible infections) and tomorrow, a high dose progesterone suppository right before the transfer. Then tomorrow anytime between 7 am - 12 pm, the clinic calls to confirm two things: a) if our embryos survive the thaw, and b) the time of our transfer. From what I've heard, our clinic has an excellent thaw rate. I will be in back-to-back classes until 11:15 am, but my nurse has assured me that it will be fine and I should try to relax on my way there. Easier said than done.
Hope to report good news tomorrow... and after that, the waiting game begins.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
A new meaning to being cheeky
I had my first progesterone in oil shot, in the "upper quadrant of my thigh" (aka my glutinous maximus ... aka my butt) tonight. As we unwrapped the syringe and needle packet, admittedly, we both began hyperventilating at the sight of just how freaking HUGE it is. And if that isn't enough to induce panic, check out this "instructional video" that the clinic had us watch (click on Progesterone).
DH played along like a trooper - even though I could tell that he was worried about hurting me (especially after watching that awesome video - that's right, folks, you do it in a quick stabby motion). So even though I was a nervous wreck myself, I kinda put on my big girl pants (or rather, took them off) and mustered small ounces of bravery. And honestly, it went well. It hurt a little but not as bad as anticipated. Maybe there's a reason they have you do it in the glutinous maximus area.
Truthfully though, the low-dose HCG shots I took in my fresh cycle were far, far worse than the one I had tonight. Maybe after a week of doing this, I'll feel quite differently about them.
Anyway, following the advice of many women online, I rested on the bed with a hot water bottle on my behind. It helped tremendously. Now try getting that image out of your head.
DH played along like a trooper - even though I could tell that he was worried about hurting me (especially after watching that awesome video - that's right, folks, you do it in a quick stabby motion). So even though I was a nervous wreck myself, I kinda put on my big girl pants (or rather, took them off) and mustered small ounces of bravery. And honestly, it went well. It hurt a little but not as bad as anticipated. Maybe there's a reason they have you do it in the glutinous maximus area.
Truthfully though, the low-dose HCG shots I took in my fresh cycle were far, far worse than the one I had tonight. Maybe after a week of doing this, I'll feel quite differently about them.
Anyway, following the advice of many women online, I rested on the bed with a hot water bottle on my behind. It helped tremendously. Now try getting that image out of your head.
One pill two pill red pill blue pill
Alright, my yet-to-be-conceived child. Anytime you start to whine about how "life is unfair" (which you will) or how "mom is mean" (which I am, ha-ha), here's what I had to go through to make sure you have a "nice comfy home" for the next nine months:
To prep for implantation:
 |
| TWELVE pills and one progesterone-in-oil shot every night for X amount of time |
And how do I do those shots? Using a syringe with a needle that's longer than my hand of course!
 |
| Ai-yi-yi |
Monday, March 12, 2012
Embryo transfer is scheduled
This morning's monitoring went as well as anticipated. My uterine lining is up to a "9.5 Type 1," and from my reading online, it sounds like a lining above 8 mm in general, is something doctors like to see. The doctor that examined me this morning even said that my uterus looks "beautiful" - I guess you need to somehow get excited over these little things!
So now believe it or not, I have a schedule. I continue my estrace pills and then start the much dreaded progesterone-in-oil shots on Wednesday, which will continue until who knows when. Antibiotics and steroids start on Wednesday as well for a week. The upside is that this is a good week to get drugged up since I have the week off for spring break.
I'm due back in again on Sunday for more bloodwork and ultrasound, and the very next day, Monday, March 13, we will thaw and transfer two embryos in the afternoon. DH will be there with me and I can't wait. The nurse just reconfirmed that we are transferring two embryos, and I said yes. That'll increase our chances that at least one would implant and I am hopeful, REALLY hopeful that this is our time, our chance to finally have a successful pregnancy.
So now believe it or not, I have a schedule. I continue my estrace pills and then start the much dreaded progesterone-in-oil shots on Wednesday, which will continue until who knows when. Antibiotics and steroids start on Wednesday as well for a week. The upside is that this is a good week to get drugged up since I have the week off for spring break.
I'm due back in again on Sunday for more bloodwork and ultrasound, and the very next day, Monday, March 13, we will thaw and transfer two embryos in the afternoon. DH will be there with me and I can't wait. The nurse just reconfirmed that we are transferring two embryos, and I said yes. That'll increase our chances that at least one would implant and I am hopeful, REALLY hopeful that this is our time, our chance to finally have a successful pregnancy.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
A cooperative uterus
"Your uterus is cooperating nicely," my RE said this morning. Only in a fertility clinic.
It's day 5 of my frozen embryo transfer (FET) cycle and things are looking great. I've been on estrace twice a day and my uterus lining is at "6 Type 1." I honestly don't know what that means (probably should find out) but the RE said that they usually start progesterone at "7 Type 1" so he thinks I'm actually about 90% to my ideal uterus lining. He also thought that I'm actually ahead of schedule, so it seems that we may be able to transfer sooner than anticipated. Fingers crossed, people.
My estrace is now increased to 3 times a day. (Yay, more estrogen). Honestly though, I am not feeling much side effects from the estrace, except that I feel like I usually do mid-cycle (right before ovulation)... even though I know it's technically just days since my cycle began. I guess that's the beauty of a synthetic cycle - they can manipulate your cycle to fit the timing of an embryo transfer right down to a tee.
I'm back in for monitoring in 5 days, and then I believe the ever-so-dreaded progesterone-in-oil shots will begin. I honestly had a mini panic attack when the package from the pharmacy arrived yesterday. From what I have read online, it will literally be a pain in the butt.
It's day 5 of my frozen embryo transfer (FET) cycle and things are looking great. I've been on estrace twice a day and my uterus lining is at "6 Type 1." I honestly don't know what that means (probably should find out) but the RE said that they usually start progesterone at "7 Type 1" so he thinks I'm actually about 90% to my ideal uterus lining. He also thought that I'm actually ahead of schedule, so it seems that we may be able to transfer sooner than anticipated. Fingers crossed, people.
My estrace is now increased to 3 times a day. (Yay, more estrogen). Honestly though, I am not feeling much side effects from the estrace, except that I feel like I usually do mid-cycle (right before ovulation)... even though I know it's technically just days since my cycle began. I guess that's the beauty of a synthetic cycle - they can manipulate your cycle to fit the timing of an embryo transfer right down to a tee.
I'm back in for monitoring in 5 days, and then I believe the ever-so-dreaded progesterone-in-oil shots will begin. I honestly had a mini panic attack when the package from the pharmacy arrived yesterday. From what I have read online, it will literally be a pain in the butt.
Friday, March 2, 2012
In the words of Budweiser... here we go
Just got off the phone with my nurse. She seemed very surprised that my "Aunt Flo" is already here and we are already starting a new FET cycle. I am back to morning monitoring tomorrow and if all looks good so far, I will begin estrace.
(Oh boy, won't DH be thrilled when I tell him that we're pumping more estrogen into my already fragile hormonal state of being.)
So the nurse thinks that if all goes well and my lining thickens as it should, we could be looking at a transfer date somewhere on the week of March 19th. I actually wish it was a week earlier, not just because I'm antsy to get started, but because it's spring break, which would have been perfect timing for me.
Lots of thoughts starting to race through my head again, which to be honest, I've enjoyed being without this week, since we found out that our cycle was canceled last Friday. It amazes me how quickly the week goes by and how more productive I feel at work when infertility is not constantly on my mind. We've actually had more meals this week not discussing my cycle and I haven't had to jump off the couch right in the middle of our TV show shouting, "Crap, it's almost 8 pm! I need my Lupron shot!" Yes, this has been quite a pleasant week.
So here we go... we start again tomorrow.
(Oh boy, won't DH be thrilled when I tell him that we're pumping more estrogen into my already fragile hormonal state of being.)
So the nurse thinks that if all goes well and my lining thickens as it should, we could be looking at a transfer date somewhere on the week of March 19th. I actually wish it was a week earlier, not just because I'm antsy to get started, but because it's spring break, which would have been perfect timing for me.
Lots of thoughts starting to race through my head again, which to be honest, I've enjoyed being without this week, since we found out that our cycle was canceled last Friday. It amazes me how quickly the week goes by and how more productive I feel at work when infertility is not constantly on my mind. We've actually had more meals this week not discussing my cycle and I haven't had to jump off the couch right in the middle of our TV show shouting, "Crap, it's almost 8 pm! I need my Lupron shot!" Yes, this has been quite a pleasant week.
So here we go... we start again tomorrow.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
But I'm usually an A student
So our blastocysts received grades of 4CC, two 4BC's, and one 3BC. Immediately I thought, "crap, they're not great." However, after reading up some online sources on blastocyst grading, I am concluding that we're at a "not bad" at this point. The two BC's are a little better than the other two and my guess is that they will go with these two lucky balls of cells for our next transfer.
Speaking of our next transfer, not sure when that's going to be yet. While I'm kinda dreading a new cycle beginning even before I had time to recover from the last cycle, I'm quite ready to get this process going for us and have the opportunity to really try to conceive! I know that sounds silly since we've started this process a year ago (and before that, trying naturally for almost 2 years). However, it just seems that we always start a cycle only to have something else get in the way. I guess I'm looking forward to having one cycle where things happen exactly when/how they are supposed to.
Speaking of our next transfer, not sure when that's going to be yet. While I'm kinda dreading a new cycle beginning even before I had time to recover from the last cycle, I'm quite ready to get this process going for us and have the opportunity to really try to conceive! I know that sounds silly since we've started this process a year ago (and before that, trying naturally for almost 2 years). However, it just seems that we always start a cycle only to have something else get in the way. I guess I'm looking forward to having one cycle where things happen exactly when/how they are supposed to.
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